Pregnant Woman Thought Ramblings

I know I have long missed my 24 week update. Hopefully you will get 2 in a row coming up.

I just wanted to take a minute and jot down some things that have been swirling around in my head.
I have had a relatively easy pregnancy, I am very grateful for that. However that being said: I do NOT enjoy being pregnant! I am so NOT glowing and I am not loving this "growing a human being" time period. At this point, little L may be an only child. I had always thought I'd have 3-5 kids! I wanted kids. I would also like the have opposite gender siblings. We will see how the next 4 months go, and how labor/delivery go, how newborndom goes. Maybe I'll have rose colored glasses on by the end of it, and think about another one down the road. I understand newborndom is hard, but I am so ready for it. I am 25 weeks and already at the point of "get this thing out of me!!" 1 day past my official due date my butt is marching in there and getting induced, little L is NOT going to sit in there and stew and get larger and larger!
I think it's a combination not only of the delicate process that is growing a human child, but also the diabetes factor. The huge major added stress of keeping that under control! My body is going though a lot of changes and the handle on diabetes is getting more stressful and cumbersome. I become insulin resistant as the placenta grows, which that takes more of the insulin than my body, so that causes higher blood sugars. 4 weeks ago if I ate a bowl of oatmeal for breakfast I would give 4.0 units of insulin, now for that same bowl of oatmeal I am up to 7.0 or 8.0 units, depending on what my blood is before eating.
The insulin resistance is a "good" thing in theory, because that means there is a healthy placenta. If we start going the other way, less insulin and lower sugars, that means the placenta is breaking down.
Also not enjoying my high risk OB. I unfortunately did not have the luxury of interviewing and finding a high risk OB I liked. My old OB, was less than useless in helping with a referral. I had to go with basically who I found. And FYI there are not a lot of options for high risk in south FL.
He has unrealistic expectations about where my bloods should be kept (ie: between 120-140). He talked about putting my on shots last time I was there. Um.... NO! H-E-double hockey sticks NO! I have a great relationship with my endo, we will figure out to do on HIS end.
I am not the type of pregnant mom who is over the moon, and gushing and touching, and poking and prodding my belly. Any Dr appointments with the ultrasound I am more just staring at the screen watching what they are doing. I am not all smiles and giggle and "ohhh's" and "ahhhh's". I am grateful little L is moving and jiving in there, I am grateful when I hear the heartbeat, but that's it.
Josh has finally felt it move and he has been ecstatic ever since.

I am uncomfortable, my clothes don't fit (obviously). I have finally broken out the maternity jeans, which are not as bad as I originally thought, still not the biggest fan. I can't do anything/not allowed to do anything. Mom and Josh won't let me ride my bike. Mom won't let me pick up and carry a bag of potatoes. I can't climb on a ladder or chair, I can't pick up Whiskey (I do, too bad!!!). I get starving, eat 2 bits and I'm full and uncomfortable.

I am very glad and thankful I have some friends who have done this before me. I can confide in them and ask those weird silly questions and don't get judged!

I am also in complete and utter denial about Whiskey and our kitten Mackie, they are my babies. I know that when L comes, they will just be a dog and a cat, they will be second class citizens, but I can not wrap my head around that. I am going kicking and screaming that will happen. I will not get rid of them, I will not stick them outside, I will not! They are as much as part of the family as little L will be.

I will over the moon once little L is here and we are both healthy and safe, until then I will continue to worry and be stressed and not enjoy being pregnant. Just counting down the days until February.