What's in a Name?

This post is my own opinion. I am no way bashing anyone for whatever works for you and your families.

Why did woman just start taking the man's last name, no questions asked? No looking back?

I understand this was the norm hundreds of years ago for many logical reason. News flash, we are in the 21st century now.

It goes back to an anecdote I heard years ago. The mom is in the kitchen preparing a ham for Christmas, the little son asked her, "why do you cut the ends off on both sides on the ham?"
She said, "I don't know, my mom did that."
Little boy goes and finds grandam, "why did you cut the ends off on both sides on the ham?"
She ponders and responded, "you know I'm not sure. That's the way my mom did it."
Luckily the great-grandmother was still alive, the little boy goes to ask her. Her response: "because the oven was too small of the ham she bought."

Simple solution, turned into a tradition that didn't need to be kept. Yet no one questioned it.
It's like last names, I get it was a tradition and reasons hundred years ago, but why can't they change?
And when people want to change them they get balked at. Because its not the "norm".

If you are one of those girls that will gladly accept your new husbands name, good for you! I wish I was you!
I however have a hard time just abandoning who I am, and who I have been for 27 years. I am an educated, working, independent woman. I have made a name for myself in the work place. Why am I just going to be submissive and take something without questioning it??

Don't get me wrong. I love traditions and family honor! One of my favorite traditions is going to Glenda's for Christmas eve, even if it does include the damn fruitcake!!
But if you're not sure why a tradition started, ask about it. Get an answer. And if its not the great hurrah answer you wanted or was looking for change it!
Same for anything else in life. We don't have to just mindlessly follow what EVERYONE else has done. Make a change, make a stand for yourself!

There has been  A LOT of research and a lot of discussions on this front.
I am my dad's only daughter, the last name Farrell. I also want my husband and I to have the same last name, I don't want to hyphenate mine and he not.
The options:
hyphenate
he changes his
combine the 2
come up with another one (perhaps another family name that had been lost)

The decision. We have both hyphenated. OUR kid's will have hyphenated last names.

Referrals and DIY

I did a lot of DIY for the wedding, and I cam across a lot of great people who helped along the way. I really want to give these people credit for the amazing things they did for you me. And if you are a soon-to-be-bride looking for certain things I hope this helps.

(please keep in mind these are all my own opinion, I get nothing in return for these "reviews")

For most of the people/shops I didnt find on etsy they will be in south Fla region. 

Vendors  (South Fla based ones first):

1. The officiant: Mr. Lowell Gannon, Weddings by Lowell Lowell did an amazing job with our wedding ceremony. It was exactly how we wanted it. We had many guest compliment on how warm, welcoming, professional and overall great he was. He was very efficient in getting back to me with questions or concerns. He really put us at an ease on the wedding day. I would highly recommend him and his services. 

You can tell he wants to make your day special and when he is there, he is just with the 2 of you! He is truly an amazing wonderful person!! (My review from theknot.com) 

2. The wedding planners: Liz & Lex events It's taken me a while to write this review for Liz & Lex, because I want it to be perfect and do them the justice they deserve.

They were the BEST choice I made in the wedding planning process.

I hired them for "day of planners" but let me tell you they were there way more than just the day of.

I am a "in control" kind of person and they keep me updated on everything going on and everything I should be doing!

They helped with vendors that I was drawing blanks on, and they only keep the BEST on file. Chanda was my main point of contact and was great at getting back to me within the day. There is not enough room on this review to highlight everything they have done for me. I am so grateful I cam across them here on the knot. I was completely at ease with them from the first phone call!! Best decision I ever made!!!

The wedding day was a total breeze only because for once I didn't have (or want) the control, and I knew the control was in fully capable hands that I trusted. (My review from theknot.com)

3. Birdy's Bridal: She was the sweetest person ever! We bought my mom's dress from a department store. My mom is petite so we needed this dress shortened. We went to a few dry cleaning places to ask them, and they were rude, over priced, and no regard to a time schedule. Birdy was so kind, a fast worker and did a wonderful job!! We ended up giving her a call pretty late in the game and she had no problem! She was also very reasonably priced. My mom looked amazing in her dress! 

4. Rockin' Roy DJ: This is one that Liz & Lex helped me find. He was great! Unlike the other DJ companies I came across (especially at those bridal shows), he owned his own company. He was the sole DJ. So who you spoke with was who you got. His personality was amazing fun and outgoing! He's a very vivacious man, with a passion for music and his job. We had a tiny snafu at the wedding where he played too many dance songs in a row, but I spoke to him and he slowly faded one out into a slower song and problem solved. He comes and sets up his own up lights.

5. McCardell Photography: They are not located in South Fla. They are based in Raleigh NC. If you live in that area, I would suggest booking them ASAP for your wedding. I LOVE THEM!!! Best pictures of all time.

Let's talk about the vendors and shops I found on etsy:

1. Bride's Boutik: This was my favorite vendor to have the pleasure of working with on etsy. I ordered a flower bow pin for my hair. I had wanted one from the start of wedding planning for the reception. I knew my hair was going to go up into a pony tail during the reception, but I still wanted it to look cute. I started pricing our hair pins at bridal shops and they were crazy expensive. Finally I was going to order off a whole sale site or amazon, until I came across her etsy shop. Her stuff is beautifully made and fantastic! After some research I also decided I wanted to incorporate my mom's dress into the bow. We took some material off her dress and veil and sent it over. She was so quick, I had my flower bow within a week. She did my mom's dress the best justice ever with this bow and it was great to have that as part of my day. This piece of wedding day attire was the most special and almost brought me to tears when I received it. 

2. Studio Ardent: I found this shop via Pintrest. I knew I wanted to do something fun and different for the boys' boutonnieres. She was great to work with, I contacted her very early on to inquiring about the product. She was so nice and answered all my questions. I checked in with her when she advised and placed my order. They are truly a one of kind boutonniere and great for your guy who LOVES beer. Everyone at the wedding was commenting how neat they were, and they have lasted a lot longer than I expected. This along with my hair bow are going in a shadow box. 

3. Hard Ink Calligraphy: One my friends planning her wedding in June had a stamp made with their name for their invites. It turned out phenomenal, and I had to have one. I saw this shop and immediately contacted her. She was amazing and was willing to work in my tight schedule (although we ended up not needing it). We used this stamp a lot more than I ever expected for the wedding. We used this for the candy bar bags, on the "Thank you" to our guest and for many card mailings. 

I plan on using this stamp well into the future. 

Now for some of the DIY:

The biggest DIY project was the lantern centerpieces. Let me just take a moment to say, if the first way you plan something doesn't work move on to the next. And be open to other people's opinion. I am a stubborn and hard headed person, I wanted it all to be the way I wanted. However later in the process I did not care! My original idea for the lanterns were to trace the numbers on them, go over the trace line with gold puff paint, let that dry, then go in with gold paint and paint the inside of the number, then glitter-fy the numbers. Do you know how long that would have taken?!??? FOREVER! 

While mom and I were at Michael's craft store we found gold scrapbook paper and some number stencils and ended up cutting the numbers out of that paper and gluing them one. They turned out 100 times better than the original  idea and took us 1/4 of the time. 

This is the final of the centerpieces. So much cleaner looking. See the little yellow ones, Josh and my dad made the bases for the 2 of them and we glued them on to keep the lanterns sitting straight. 

Next, I wanted giant yellow lantern colums to "frame" us at the ceremnony. This is one where I threw a fit because I wanted it to go my way and my way only. Low and behold Josh's way was easier and less trouble. 

This is the best picture I could find of these. They were 4- 16" lanterns stacked on one another. Josh and my dad made a stand for 4- 1" PVC poles in which the lantern wire wedged in between. We painted the PVC pipes with yellow spray paint so the minor amount that showed through would blend in. My mom and I also gold-ified the bases with scrapbook paper, like basically wrapping a present. Again my original idea was to get a 4" PVC pipe and cut it right down the middle- yea OK!

We did a candy bar last minute. For the bags we went with plain old brown paper bags (the cheapest option also). We got yellow circle stamps at Party City and this is where my stamp came in handy. I stamped our names on each label, then stuck the labels to the bag. They were great. We also cut the bags down a little with the fancy design scissors. 

We also got a gold glitter gift bag from Michael's and places a sign on it for people to take one and fill. 

For the seating chart I did not want those silly little folded cards. UGH! Do something original people. I wanted to have a board with everyone's name. Originally I wanted it by table #, but was told that would confuse people and take them longer to find their name. So we did it alphabetically by first name. 

Then I wanted to do it on a black board in gold writing. The only way to do that other than xatco-knifing the names by hand was with a cricut machine. I failed to realize that the machine would cut out letter-by-letter, even in cursive. CRAP! So while wandering Michael's again I grabbed some gold wrapping paper, just in case. We took a white foam board covered it with the wrapping paper and my dad had these printable transparencies laying around. We printed (in my favorite font ever, Thanks Laurie!!!) in black on these transparencies and glue dotted them to the board. (PS: glue dots, one of the best inventions ever!!!)

It was perfect!!! And I love the little saying I found on Pintrest.

Now if you don't want to DIY this there are options, etsy has a few shops that will do this for you, but for a price. And Staples or Office Depot will do "engineer" prints but really only in black and white but at a cheaper price. 

I think wanted tassel garland to go down every row on the aisle side at the ceremony. This looked like an easy task, no problem. HA was I wrong! Again they sell these on etsy for a pretty penny, and now I know why! Finally I conceded to just doing 4 in total, 2 on each side to symbolize the family rows. And it looked fantastic!!! 

The next big DIY was the programs. I found a few designs I liked on Pintrest. When it finally came time to get them done I selected this design. 

I did these in Microsoft Word. I found them via this site: The McBailys, where she actually uploaded the file that you can edit (I don't know how to do that) She was great for some DIY stuff, She did her own menus and other things. I got them printed at First Impression Printing They are fantastic! I gave them the file,and within a few days they were ready and perfect! 

I also had the menus and "thank you" notes printed with them. 

The space under the "we love you!" is where our Katie & Josh stamp went

These were also done in Microsoft word, but I have no idea how to upload the file.

I seriously can not thank my mom enough for all her help. If it was not for her none of my vision would have been possible. She was by my side for every cockamamie idea I came up with. I know I was not the best person to deal with at times, but we got through it and it was amazing and more than I could have even dreamed of. 

Also Josh was an amazing help, he was there with mom and I when we were doing last minute crafts. 

And Stephanie C. was my saving grace angel coming down from CT a week before the wedding and helping with all the lose end projects that needed to be finished. She was there all day if I needed her. She is crazy organized like me and made labels for all the boxes and made sure everything was perfect for the day and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. 

Our Wedding Day

Josh and I became Mr & Mrs (almost) 1 week ago! I still can't believe it. People keep asking me, "Does it feel different?"
The simple answer is, No.
Josh and I have been together for 6 years, lived together for 2, we have been though so many ups and downs. We have dealt with some major problems and we have had the time of our lives. We also share 4 fur-babies. I know its different than real human kids, but our 4-legged children are our whole world, we love them as much as you would your 2-legged kid. They keep us on our toes as much (if not more) than a 2-legged kid would anyways. We have been "together" in every sense of the word. So just because we have a piece of paper doesn't really make it much different. Now this piece of paper was really needed wanted before we started a real family. I digress on this topic and get back to the real subject... Our Wedding Day.

BEST. DAY. EVER!!!!

It was such a magical day. And let me tell you when people say things will always go wrong on the wedding day, they are right! We had a few mishaps and such, but let me tell you, no one would have known, and many still have no idea.

We started the weekend with breakfast with my MOH#1 & Bridesmaid. After we throughly stuffed ourselves and downed the coffee we went over the ceremony site for rehearsal. (snafu #1 happened here) Rehearsal went well, everyone knew their place and could walk down a straight line for the next day.
The small group of us left (after work got in the way for some) got some lunch, complete with beer and sangria slushie (YUM!) to calm any nerves.

I went with the boys to pick up the suits (thankfully cause this is where snafu #2 shows up). They all looked smashing! After another quick stop at the local brewery we headed to the hotel where Mom, MOH#1 and BM checked into the hotel. Unloaded all the cart-fulls of wedding related items and chilled out for bit before heading to rehearsal dinner/hockey game.

We had to take a selfie before heading downstairs to meet everyone (and by the way, how was it that the girls were ready waaaaaay before the boys??!?!)

Pharrell's "Happy" song was the theme for the whole weekend! 

Josh hooked it up at the rehearsal with food and drinks! The box was in an awesome location and we could see everything! 

We surprised everyone with "bride" and "groom" FL Panther jerseys 

After the 1st period we gave the amazing bridal party their gifts along with gifts for the mothers and my dad.

The Boys received a small bottle of their favorite alcohol, flask, pocket knife, and Star Wars socks (for their own individual personalities). Girls got a pale yellow coach purse (filled with wedding day essentials) and Disney princess socks (for our own personal princess persona). In lieu of flower corsages, we got the mothers personalize bracelets. And my dad got a pair of special cuff links

Here is a close up of mom's bracelet and dad's cuff links

Me and my awesome girls!

The wedding party (minus 1 dude, he had to work a night shift)

After an amazing WIN from the panthers (and I believe the first shutout of the season) we headed back the hotel. After momentarily losing the cars. Back at the hotel I climbed into bed and we talked, nodded off, talked some more, then finally fell asleep. The next morning had finally come! It was finally wedding day!

We awoke to room services half breakfast (snafu #3) and had coffee and mimosas with our fruit and danish. We all put on our button down (man's) shirt and headed down for hair and make up at the salon. 

Hair and makeup went entirely over schedule and while there we had to deal with snafus #4 & #5. Once we all were done (and may I say FABULOUS looking!!!) off we went back to the hotel to get ready. This 5 minute car ride was agonizingly slow! I was literally bouncing up and down in the front seat not able to contain myself. 

We ran back up to the room, I helped the girls get into their amazing dresses and they all looked fantastic! While mine was out with the photographers getting some memory shots! The photographers came back with my dress just as mom was coming in from getting into her Oscar award winning dress! Just before getting into my dress the pet sitter that Whiskey was with sent me a picture text with my little furry girl smiling her corgi smile in the backyard, at this point I lost control of all my emotions and started crying. At one point all I could say was "I miss my Whiskey". The photographer kind of gave a puzzled look to everyone ans was like "the drink?" No my puppy dog! After that little moment. My girls helped me into my dress, my mom zipped me up, the photographers snapped away, my mom put her "something borrowed" cross necklace on and we were good to go. 

Josh and I opted to do the first look and exchange wedding day gifts at this time. 

For this moment I am going to take an excerpt from my best friend and BM's (private) blog post. She sent it to me to read and I was doing fine, until this part:

"... I feel like I was experiencing this magical moment through Katie. We headed downstairs, where the groomsmen waited.  Josh was already in their “first look location” waiting for Katie to come around.  The bridesmaids and groomsmen, mostly bridesmaids, crowded around the windows to watch the first look.

"Katie walked up to Josh, who was facing away, and tapped his shoulder.  We held our breath while he turned and took in his bride for the first time.  (Cue the tears.  Again.)  Bridesmaids exchanged tissues as Katie and Josh exchanged hugs and words of love.  Then Katie handed Josh his gift, while Josh realized that Momma Farrell still had Katie’s.  Luckily, we’d realized it beforehand and I was heading out with the gift bag (to SAVE THE DAY! At least, that’s how I felt). They opened the gifts, and Josh’s face gave away just how perfectly Katie knows her husband.  Even the groomsmen noticed his beet red, teary face and couldn't hide their smiles."

Our gifts to each other. He got Star Wars cuff links and I got the enchanted Pandora bracelet

After Josh and I had our magical moment the rest of the bridal party came out for pictures. Once these were done we scurried off towards the lobby to get into the limo/car. Josh and the whole bridal party + mom piled into a standard white limo while daddy and I got into a 1950's Bently. Once at the ceremony site I saw guest arriving and I jumped into a private room away from everyone before the walk down the aisle. Dad and the guys hung out in the kitchen and had a pre-wedding beer and toast. My wedding planner came in got the mom and my girls out and ready in line while I was told to wait. I stood alone in that room for what seemed like an eternity! Finally the door popped open and it was my turn. I could hear the music starting. We chose "I can see the light" (from Disney's Tangled) instrumental version. I was told to walk when I heard my cue, but at this point I had completely forgotten what it sounded like and just went, practically dragging daddy with my out of surprise. We mad to the end of the aisle, daddy kissed the top of my head and shook Josh's hand. Josh step forward took my hand and lead me up towards the officiant. I could see his eyes were slightly red and watery holding everything back. I was smiling like a the Cheshire cat the whole time, from ear to ear. I also had the forethought to have my phone on record mode and in Josh's pocket so we could record our vows (and also for a special present down the road). (Also in retrospect I am so glad I did this. I pulled it out and listened to it Sunday afternoon when it was just him and I around and it was great to hear it all over again, it was recording the whole time and you can hear us at the very end giving a hug and me, barely keeping it together telling him how much I loved him!!!) 

We had the officiant read something we had found on Pintrest, What is love?

Next his sister, Meena read "The Owl and the Pussy Cat" 

The owl and the pussy cat went to sea

In a beautiful pea-green boat,

They took some honey, and plenty of money,

Wrapped up in a five pound note.

The Owl looked up to the stars above,

And sang to a small guitar,

 What a beautiful Pussy cat you are, 

Pussy said to the Owl “You elegant fowl,

How charmingly sweet you sing.

O let us be married, too long we have tarried;

But what shall we do for a ring?”

They sailed away, for a year and a day,

To the land where the Bong-tree grows,

And there in a wood a Piggy-wig stood

With a ring at the end of his nose.

 “Dear Pig, are you willing to sell for one shilling your ring?”

Said the Piggy, “I will”

So they took it away, and were married next day

By the Turkey who lives on the hill.

They dined on mince, and slices of quince,

Which they ate with a runcible spoon.

And hand in hand, on the edge of the sand.

They danced by the light of the moon.

After that was done, we made our vows, did a completely unique and our own unity ceremony with a Lego heart,

then we exchanged our rings and were pronounced Mr & Mrs and we sealed it with a kiss. Exiting the "alter" our friends and family hooted and hollered as we made our was back down the aisle. 

We snuck away back to that side room and waited for everyone to depart to cocktail hour.

After getting the mandatory family wedding pictures, just the bridal party headed outside for some more fun shots on the play ground and such. After we were done with the bridal party  (and they were hungry) they got to also head over to cocktail hour, while Josh and I took a few more alone pictures (I seriously CANNOT wait to see these pictures, I saw a glimpse of them on the camera and they are like ads for a glossy magazine!) Josh and I made our way back to the hotel. While riding in the awesome Bently, I felt like I was a princess, people driving by were gawking and starting in aw and smiling and waving when they say a bride and groom were in the back.

Back at the hotel my Groom left me hanging for little, while he went to get a beer and say hi to some people. My dress was being bustled at this point so I didn't get it any dirtier. Finally his mom handed me a glass of wine and I was good to go! I mingled around to and made a bee line for my work family, I was so excited all the guys and their wives made it. 

Here's Josh with his best man, and 2 other buddies that he was in a band with many years ago (notice him holding my flowers)

After about 10 minuted of socializing and say hi to family I hadn't seen in years it was time to head on to the reception. Josh, myself and the bridal party hid down a corridor so people would peacefully go into the ballroom without stopping to say Hi. Once everyone was seated we lined up for the introductions. 

Josh and I were announced and we had our magical first dance to Jason Mraz "I Won't Give Up" (seriously the perfect song for us).

While dancing, neither of us really like the spot light on us, so we sang the song to each other the whole dance and it was beautiful like we were our own little music box. At the end I asked Josh if he wanted to dip me, and he gladly obliged. When the song was finishing he dipped me back and planted a wonderful new husband kiss on me. Everyone stated to hoot and holler again! Then it was time to dance with daddy to Trace Adkins's "Just Fishin' " (again a perfect non-sappy song for my dad and I).

Dad was so pleased with how everything turned out and was surprised by the Bently car that took us there, I think he was just genuinely happy to see his little girl happy. Once that was finished we sat down for some dinner.

Side note: You know the "tradition" of glass clinking and the bride and groom kissing, WORSE tradition ever, also the most annoying!!! Josh and I ignored it all night. At the point when we sat down to eat the clinking started. My photographer came over and were like, "You know when they do that your suppose to kiss?". Yes I know, I'm just refusing to (at that point I would have kissed my MOH, Aubrey instead). The photographer asked if we would kiss to get a picture though and that we obliged to. 

Dinner was served and the chicken was ahhhh-mazing! Steak for me was walking off the plate raw (others loved it). (snafu #6 for me). At this point Josh and I got up and made our way around the tables saying hi to everyone and chatting with friends and family. The party started when the music got going, specifically with "I wanna dance with somebody" by Whitney Houston came on and I danced with BM Stephanie. 

I got called over for a group family picture when the DJ decided to put on "The Wobble" my bridesmaid and my dance!! I had to scurry away from the picture (I hope someone got a good one) at which point someone was standing on my dress and there went the bustle (FYI: The bustle ALWAYS falls!!!!! Snafu #7) So the rest of the night I was holding my dress up to my chin to keep from tripping on it or anyone else stepping on it. (And yes we did try to safety pin it back into place to no avail did it stay). 

We did our cake cutting and much to people's disappointment we did not smash it in each other face. It was too delicious!!!

 We did the bouquet toss, Josh's sister caught it, and the garter toss, Eric the best man got that.

Then we continued to dance the night away until the very last song, "Too Drunk" by Buckcherry (we have a sense of humor so sue us).

Little lessons: 

Things will go wrong, roll with it

You will not get enough to eat at your wedding, send up to go boxes to your room (snafu #8- they were forgotten)

You will not drink entirely as much as you had hoped or wanted. I had 1.5 glass of Amaretto Sour :(

HAVE FUN! Our cheeks and stomachs hurt so much by the end of the night from laughing, smiling and enjoying each others company along with our family and friends.

We LOVE everyone that made the trip for our joyous event, we cannot thank you enough!

Day Of

DONE!!!!! WE ARE DONE! WE ARE MARRIED!!! WE ARE MR & MRS!!!!!

Day Before

1. Reconfirm pick up times- Done

2. Rehearsal dinner time- AT THE BB&T CENTER FOR THE HOCKEY GAME!!!! Why you ask? Because hockey is near and dear to our hearts, it's where we first met! 

3. Give bridal party gifts- They are packed and prettied up, Will be given at rehearsal dinner. Also have gifts for moms and my dad. :) 

48 Hours!!!!!

1. Pick up dress- Been done!!! YAY!

2. Write last check to vendors- Done

3. Drop of welcome baskets- N/A

Extra Photo-shoot on FL Panther Ice

McCardell Photography gave us an extra photo shoot on the ice at the FL Panther Arena!
They are epic! Some of the best photos I've seen. For full photos visit the photo sharing site. These are a few of my favorites. This was also the debut of our "Bride" & "Groom" hockey jerseys.

1 Week to Go

1 week = 7 days = 168 hours!!!!

1. Final head count to vendors- Done

2. Finalize seat chart- Done 

3. Get any waxings/facials- Got my eyebrows pretty-tized!