When I finally got to our room and baby L was wheeled in, I tried to feed him, the nurse I had at the time was not very informative, and he kept falling asleep at the boob. I put him back in his little bassinet and went to sleep for a few hours while he slept. I remember waking to him crying around 6AM and my other nurse came in for my vitals. I told her I was planning on trying to breastfeed again once she was done. Josh was holding L and that's basically when all hell broke lose, when the nurse stated he was breathing irregularly and that his top lip looked a little purple. That was the last I saw of my little dude for a day and half.
Once I was able to go to the NICU to try and feed him, his nurse there had absolutely NO patience and was rough with him and my boob in attempting him to latch. I gave up and gave him a bottle of formula.
While at my stay in the hospital I pumped, and gave every tiny little drop I got out to the NICU to give him instead of formula. He still ended up getting 90% formula and the little tiny 10% bit of breast milk. When I would visit him in NICU and if it was time to eat, I would always try to get him to latch and eat, but he would either fall asleep, or get mad and cranky because he has to actually work to get the milk out.
Once home, I was pumping a lot, pulling my supply in. Once he was home with us, we gave him breast milk via bottle because he was still fussy as the boob. After about a week at home, he was no longer on supplemental formula and completely on breast milk from a bottle.
I was okay with our arrangement, he was on breast milk, no matter which way he was getting it. Josh could be involve with feeding because of bottles, and I knew exactly how much he was getting and when to expect his next feeding based on how much he drank. It worked for us. I got some flack from some people saying "why don't you just stick him on the boob, it'd be so much quicker." Over the next few months when I was home with him, if he wanted something to eat sooner than his next feeding was "scheduled" I tried breast, because I didn't want to risk throwing any away. He would take it for a little bit and be content, but if he was in an "I'm starving frenzy" he wouldn't take it, and that stressed me out. Instead of him crying got the 5-10 minutes it takes for something to warm up, he could snack then have his real bottle. I continues pumping and getting a good supply, and managing to stock pile a lot of it!!! He took the breast especially well in the middle of the night feedings, because I never knew how much to give him and he would surely fall asleep some would be wasted. It also meant I didn't have to get up in the middle of the night to pump. It was a win-win for us all.
Fast forward a few weeks into me returning to work. My nipple/breast was hurting so badly when pumping or feeding. It was punch-a-wall kind of pain. It almost brought me to tears. I called La Leche League and she's didn't really have an answer for me, she was more curious why I wasn't boobing 24/7. So I found a lactation consultant, Kim. She was amazing!!! I called and spoke with her on the phone, I explained the pain and what was happening. She also wasn't sure what it was, but said to put breast milk on the pain spot and it will heal. And wouldn't you know a few days later then pain was still there was totally manageable, and a week later it was gone. I wanted to schedule an appointment with her to help address L crying when I gave him boob when he was starving, he would also latch and suck for a bit then stiff board it and cry!
We went to the lactation consult and he latched and was drinking and she said my supply was awesome (because it just came pouring out) and he had a great latch... then the stiff board came and the crying and she took a moment to analyze it and came to the conclusion that he was gassy. We stopped and tried to burp him, and put him back and still nothing. She then showed us some tummy gas relief massage and he let out a few good toots and was happy as a clam. He was no longer hungry so we didn't push the breast. With that new information when he got overly fussy or would start stretching and tensing up we would do our little exercises and he would be good to go. Night feedings were still going well and during the day it was bottles.
So in the end I haven't breastfed a whole lot, but I feel like I have conquered the pumping mountain.
I did a lot of research on how to pump, how to stock, and how to get a stock going.
I made small goals for myself: "I want to pump/ feed breast milk for at least 3 months", and by then I had almost a 3 month stash supply in the freezer. When that passed I made a goal of 6 month. Now that L is 7 months old and he no longer has 6-8 bottles a day. Hes down to about 4-5. I feel like my stash would take us to 9 months easily.
(even with a snafu of the freezer door being pushed open by one of the bundles of milk bags an defrosting some of the others, and having to throw away close to 50 (4oz) bags. That was a HARD thing to do! Pouring any amount of milk down the drain a small part of me dies!)
My supply has decrease a little (and at first I was very upset) but I still get 2-3 bags extra that he goes through from the stash. Example: He takes 4 bags from the stash, I'm able to replace with 7. My main long term goal was the first year, I think I have that in the bag. Even if I was to stop now, he may be on formula for maybe 2 months! Which I can live with. But I am going to continue pumping for now as long as my current supply holds up. I may start weaning when he is about 9-19 months, and just work from the stash. I am very proud of myself in what I have been able to achieve with pumping especially with my first baby, and not doing this before. I am in no ways an expert, this is just what worked for me.
I feel like drinking a lot of water is defiantly a key. When I was home with him I pumped almost every 2-3 hours and that was including middle of the night. I also will say, if you have more than a 5 minute drive to/from work invest in 2 things:
The hands free bra and a car adapter for your particular pump.
I have the medela pump, which seems to be the most common, and I like its performance also. Since returning to work I pump on my way in (15-20 minutes), once at work at 11AM (since I leave early now, when I was back full time 8-5 I would pump at 1PM), and on my home from picking L up from day care. Once home and now that he's more active and won't let me sit still for 20 minutes, I usually don't pump again till bed time 8-9PM. Then start the cycle all over again.
My 11AM pump and my drive home pump are the smallest amount! My morning I can usually get enough to replace whatever I took out of the stash.
I take my pump with my where ever I go I feel like. Even running errands around town, if I'm going to be sitting in the car for any extended period of time I feel like I should be pumping, instead of wasting 20 minutes at home away from my baby. I hook up while in park and turn the machine on and drive to where ever I need to go. Always bring a cooler with an ice pack to store what I pumped until I can get home to divvy it up. I've pumped when on our way to dinner, so I can have a drink when we get there and be safe for the next pump. That car adapter is one of the best things I have spent money on. My mom and friend thought I was crazy to pump in the car while driving, but have quickly realized just how smart and time saving it is. With the hand free bra, it's completely safe, both my hands are on the steering wheel, not need to readjust, or look or watch it. I watch the road and drive like I normally would.
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